


Bobby B second fury as female

by FantasyABC



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms
Genre: Bad Grammer, Crack, Don't take it seriously, F/F, F/M, Faith of the Seven, Gen, Humor, Idk what to do next, M/M, Multi, Other, Rheager is chill, Short, The maiden loves making fun of Robert, Time Travel Fix-It, female robert, for fun, gender swap, genderbender, honestly the mother and the maiden has no hope for Robert saving anyone, idk honestly, im sorry if i offend anyone, robert is screaming, the mother is trying to be helful, this is their secound to last chance, um... robert suffers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:27:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27625396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FantasyABC/pseuds/FantasyABC
Summary: The goddesses are trolls, and Robert Baratheon is done being female. Crack fic, gender Bender. please don't take it seriously.
Relationships: Robert Baratheon/Rhaegar Targaryen
Comments: 5
Kudos: 21





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have this posted on fanfiction.net and it will probably have more chapters on there. I would post chapters on there then edit it and repost it on here when I'm not lazy. Sorry for the bad wordings. This is a FANfiction written on my phone for fun. I don't own anything and please don't take this seriously.

Robert was dying, he could tell. it wasn't like his life flashed before his eyes-it was more like darkness slowly take over his eyesight.

It was a sleeping sensation, only taking away his pain and replacing it with numbness.

Everything was blurry and he didn't know what to think. The dulling pain was fading, as was his breath.

To think he would die like this, a hunting accident. In all of his remembrance to think he would die in such away. No doubt he died and lived life like it was his last but a lame lasting it was.

He couldn't help frown.

It was empty and he felt like he was floating in a dark fog where there was no concept of up or down.

Was this life after death? An emptiness for eternity? Fucking bullshit. He hated it already.

Then to his disbelief, everything became bright and he was standing in front of two large figures.

It was Bizarre, but Robert stood(?) there stupidly.

He felt like he had seen them before. No, he had never seen them before.

But as unlikely as his situation he knew them. Not know, but to realize who they were whilst not truly understanding.

They were the mother and the maiden. Two of the seven faiths. Robert was a nonbeliever, he didn't worship gods like the others. Often time he'd scoff whether it be of any religion or customs. He believed it was a waste of time and energy, he had lost faith in the gods many years ago.

As Robert stood there frozen he didn't know how to act. It was daunting and surreal looking up at the large figures. The mother smiled.

"Robert Baratheon, we have a great plan for your child."

That shook Robert out of his stupor. He wasn't a child he, was a grown-ass man.

" The world is in disarray, the night king has won." What night king? Robert was hella confused. Was this a dream? Did he drink too much? He thought he was dead, but was he actually? This was too unrealistic.

"Reversing time multiple times we have chosen individuals to represent us, and change fates. Each of the seven had chosen a human each, and give them powers to alter and possibly save the world." Said the mother.

The maiden who Robert lost focus of, began to speak her part. "For the individuals, we will give them 'blessings' or 'gifts' to aid them."

"We both have chosen you and will give you our blessing separately, do not fail us Robert Baratheon. There is much at stake"

Robert considered himself a very complicated man, with simple wishes in life. He was a man of noble birth with a bright future ahead of him as lord.

But it was ripped away from him by a selfish and vile person. The person defiled his fiancee, the love of his life. Started civil unrest and indirectly killed many of his companions and friends.

And for that he got revenge with the man's blood on his fingers, it was high in which he loved to relive in his dreams. In his glory, he rode on horses fast and furious with a hammer in his hand. He had many regrets in life and now the goddesses had given him another chance.

In his previous road, he became king and married an irritating woman. Sure she was beautiful but her personality was like dung compared to his dead fiancee.

He found it odd why it was the mother and the maiden who chose him instead of the Smith or the warrior. But regardless he will use it and destroy that Rhaegar once again, but this time sooner. To say the least, Robert was excited, for him he knew his destiny was great. After all, he was a king before but this time he will be even greater.

The mother smiled. "We will give you 3 powers each. I will go first, you will be immune to all poison that threatens both mind and body. Second, your body will stay fit and healthy no matter what you consume. And lastly, I bless you with fertility, throughout your life you are destined to birth healthy and strong children."

Robert was even more happy hearing that he was immune to all poison AND his body will be fit if he was honest to himself he was a little fat before. And for the children, he probably had quite a few bastards and he also had 3 children by marriage so he didn't really care. He'd rather her give him a different gift, but he knew better in front of the giant goddesses.

The maiden smiled " And for me, you will be tied to your wedded, forever fidelity and a strong bond between both I bless you. Second, whenever you please you may communicate with us, and lastly, I bless you with beauty and a body that surpasses all women."

Before Robert could properly process her ending sentence everything went black.


	2. 2

In the Stormland, that night it was unusually still. A calm night for a usually stormy season.

But inside the Lord Paramount's castle, were the busy servants as they prepared for a new member of the Baratheon family.

The screams of Lady Cassana sounded in the room. There were many servants and professionals to aid in the birthing of the child; it was by no means an easy birth, but others survived with less.

Her scream sounded throughout the night until a still silence hung over the air.

"Milady!" A maidservant called out to the tired figure in worry. The Paramount's wife was breathing heavily from the afterbirth, whilst a strong cry came from the babe.

"I'm alright." Cassana breathed warily on her bed. "Bring me, my child." The babe was screaming. "What a strong voice..."

"It's a girl milady." Said the maid, as she handed the babe to her mother.

Looking at the vibrant blue eye of the child, she touched the small curls on top of the child's head "Oh she's beautiful," Cassana said readily, as a maid wiped away her sweats. "She will grow up a beauty no doubt." Although her first child wasn't a boy, she could always have another.

It was at this time her husband entered the room.

It was a few minutes after Robert was born that he found out he was now a female.

He screamed

Robert Baratheon

Or

Now… Roxanne Baratheon.

The first daughter of Steffon Baratheon and Cassana Estermont.

A few days of life again, and he was fucking done with it.

"You bitches why am I, girl!" Robert was fuming, and curses were uttered fast and furiously.

" It was a part of our gift" Sounded the maiden more amused than offended. "May you be blessed with a body that surpasses all females in terms of beauty..." Almost sarcastically she said.

Robert swore he could hear the Mother chuckling, he wanted to kill someone. But instead, he screamed a battle war cry of anger.


	3. 3

Roxanne was an easy baby some would say, she didn't cry and scream like most-well maybe she did scream, it wasn't often but it was random and surprising. Some would say the little babe had a permanent scowl on her face when she wasn't sleeping.

But when she got to the walking part was when the trouble started.

The minute Robert could stand on his own two feet-he ran. He ran past the servants, pass the guards, passes his parents, and towards the liquor cabinets.

It was also during that time that Robert found that he was unable to say anything about the goddesses, the 'gifts', how he was another gender, or how he had to change fate and shit.

When he has the intention of saying those stuff, his mouth refuses to open.

"Tsk, Tsk you can't talk about those things... They're restricted, you are not allowed to say them straight out..."

"Then how the fuck am I supposed to warn people of the freeze undead things you constantly shit about!?"

"Change your words and twist it, actually use your brain, and have some tactic.."The maiden said. "Though I doubt you can."

" WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO ME YOU FLAT CHESTED WENCH." Robert screamed in his head." ARE YOU CALLING ME STUPID!"

" Well, I'm definitely not calling you smart..."

Robert was feeling a little depressed

No very depressed.

He could no longer get drunk, he tried.

In secret, he stole some liquor, but no matter how much he drank he couldn't get drunk. He blamed the goddesses.

The Mother patiently explained to him. "My child you should thank me, alcohol is like poison, it messes with the mind and confuses you. The troublesome things are addictive and cause more trouble then it's worth. Large intakes can cause death, my dear, so in retrospect, it is considered poison."

" My dear child!? fuck you! I say bullshit, bullllllshiiiitttt."

Robert screamed.

...and then cried.

The maiden held back her laughter.

Although Robert couldn't see the maiden he could very well hear her.


	4. 4

Right on queue about a year later Stannis was born. And he was male, the lucky shit.

He couldn't understand why his mother fawned over the small form of Stannis. He wasn't jealous okay?

"Why are you glaring at the babe?" asked the mother ( the goddess not his mother).

" Well for one he's a boy, and second he's a boy, and third HE'S A BOY!"

"My, what's wrong with being a boy?" The maiden feigns surprise.

"FUCK YOU!" Robert really hated the maiden.

On a stormy day, Robert sat surrounded by a bunch of toys, blankets, and pillows, whilst baby Stannis was in a basket with some pillows and a small blanket.

Their mother was sitting near them on a rocking chair embroidering some flowers. All in all, it was a very comfortable sight.

Robert looked at the small babe, poking his finger on Stannis's cheeks. The babe gurgled and wrapped his hands around Roberts's fingers.

For a bit Robert let Stannis take his fingers. Moments like these he wondered how his relationship with his brother got so bad.

Then Stannis took his fingers and began to put it in his mouth, Robert quickly pulled his hand away.

With the sudden movement and lack of fingers, Stannis began to cry.

" Oh, dear! What happened? What did you do Roxanne?" His mother frowned and lifted Stannis into her arms but Stannis began to cry even louder.

Robert couldn't help but cringe.

Ugh, babies, Robert hated babies. Stannis did nothing but cry at every little thing, even in the past when they were children.

Babies were also smelly and gross; they did nothing but shit, eat, and sleep.

" Like you?" Said the maiden in a deceptively innocent voice.

Oh, thank the sweet kind mother goddess she spoke up for Robert before he exploded. "Oh don't say that babes cannot control themselves in such a week and fragile state. Even though Robert is much wiser than his years he's in a form that should be supported."

"Who said I was talking about his new 'babe' like form."

"YOU BITCH!" Robert hated the maiden.


End file.
